Saturday, December 24, 2005

 

Merry Christmas

Just wanted to wish all of you in the land of freedom a very merry Christmas...sorry a happy winter holidays...no, that might be offensive too...how about a lukewarm winter soltice experience...yeah that'll do...

As my first Christmas away from my growing up family and my growing up country, I reflect on a few things that will make this holiday different:

1) Santa is more often referred to here as Father Christmas rather than Santa Claus. This shows the British have no souls...don't know why, but it does.

2) Away in a Manger is still sung over here...BUT WITH A DIFFERENT TUNE. Seriously people, we went to a Christmas carol service and I almost had apoplexy...YES! APOPLEXY. I listened to their rendition accompanied by the heavenly counterpoint of baby Jesus crying...

3) The day after Christmas is called Boxing Day where everyone gets on the streets promptly at 9 AM and pummels the crap out of each other all day long. Well, maybe not, but the 26th is called Boxing Day, it is a Holiday, I have no clue what it means, and there is even less going on on that day than there is on Christmas day. Now this also means no day-after-Christmas sales which, in my opinion, means they revere Jesus more. The habit of getting drunk at the pub and then going to midnight mass on the 24th means they revere Him slightly less. All in all, I think they are about 50% Jesus, 50% Budweiser...give or take...

4) There are only four main channels on TV...now this doesn't have much to do with Christmas, but I just wanted to rail about it again!

and finally

5) This will be my first married Christmas which means I will get the greatest gift of all...the sex...I mean spending it with my lovely wife...yeah...that's the ticket...

Anywho, hope you all have a wonderful and safe Christmas, a happy New Year, and please drink some good old American Dr. Pepper for me. The stuff over here sucks...

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