Monday, June 13, 2005


Jews are vile...

WAIT! Before the Jewish nation unites to knock down my door and stick a metal star of David in my head, let me explain. As I was walking down one of the nicer areas of London called Wood Green (SARCASM ALERT: The phrase just uttered is completely false...Wood Gren is SCAB CITY!!!!) I was intrigued by the group of interestingly dressed individuals shouting into a microphone as people passed by. Now I, assuming they had discovered the secrets of renewable energy and had decided to share with us all, retreated back into hearing range so I too could be blessed with the knowledge of perpetual cold fusion.

WELL, imagine my surprise when, instead of cold fusion they were talking about how everyone who wasn't Muslim should be ashamed of themselves (Note: They were wearing white robe-type things which, from a distance, look a little like lab coats...honest mistake.) Now I, as most of you know, do not like religious or political discussion, nor would I ever willingly walk up to a group of Muslims as a die-hard Christian and engage them in a dialogue for over an hour pointing out why their perceptions of Christianity are not entirely correct (apparently most Christians don't believe in Heaven and Hell and by having the trinity of God, Jesus, and Holy Spirit we are limiting God.) Now I won't bore you with all the details of this discussion but I did want to leave you with a few quotes that make me think twice before exchanging Jesus for Mohammed. Enjoy!

1. All Jews are evil, vile, and disgusting. Even people who aren't religious hate the Jews. They are an awful group of people.

2. The Holocaust didn't really happen. It is a conspiracy by the Zionist Jews. In fact, the Jews declared war on Germany first. Besides, bodies can't burn as fast as they say. The Holocaust survivors are liars.

and finally

3. (When I said that the radical Muslims who blew up the World Trade Center were the only "vile" people) Why are they radical. America helped Israel by giving the Jews weapons that they used to kill Muslim children. The Muslims simply struck back. Why is that radical?

At this point, I thanked them for their time, went to the movies, and watched House of Wax.

A thoroughly engaging day...

Friday, June 10, 2005


Five Things I Hate About You

Well, as one of the last of our group of friends, I would like to first thank Graham for thinking of me as finally worthy to share my thoughts. So, as has been done by those before me I now begin: THE MEME!!!!!

The meme states as follows:
Behold, the Caesar's Bath meme! List five things that people in your circle of friends or peer group are wild about, but you can't really understand the fuss over. To use the words of Caesar (from History of the World Part I), "Nice. Nice. Not thrilling...but nice."

1. Axis & Allies: Now I understand the strategy inherent in this game and the hours of grueling and tireless movement and countermovement in order to eventually crush your opponent, but there is nothing that kills one's coolness faster than "Let's play axis and allies." IE: "Hey guys, I am dating a supermodel and just got put in people's 100 most intriguing people. But hey...let's play axis & Allies...wait my phone's ringing...what?! want to break up with me?...hold on I have another call...What? I am only in Redbook..." And thus it goes. Axis & Allies is to our age group the equivalent of choosing to forego dodgeball at recess for a rousing game of Star Trek...right Zhubin?...

2. Clubbing: Now it's not really as much you guys as other groups of friends, but I find a loud atmosphere fairly writhing with hormones and every sleazy guy and underdressed girl looking to do anything to each other under the cover of alchohol...well that's just not my cup of tea. If I want to go somewhere with my friends, I want to be able to see and hear them and carry on a conversation. Someplace with lots of 24 refills...Perkins anyone?

3. Sex not being awesome: All I have to say, Zhubin, is that I was COMPLETELY right...

4. Bachelor Parties: I understand the idea behind them; one last hurrah before you are tied down. However, if you feel the need to have more hurrahs, it is my opinion you have no need to be getting married. Plus, have you seen the kind of girls you get in Knoxville for strippers...I mean...not that I was really just a glance...Rachael I love you....

and finally

5. America: I mean come on guys. You've tried that country for, what now, 23-25 years. Give another country a go. Geez...

I now pass this on to Brian Gentry, Bobak, and (insert your name here if you haven't done it yet...can't think of anyone else) I love that last guy/girl.

Thursday, June 09, 2005


I'M BACK!!!!!

Well gang, I have returned! As of yesterday, I now have broadband in my house and will be able to spend hours and hours living in the States vicariously through you all. I plan to answer the meme that Graham sent to me (thank you Graham for seeing me as worthy enough...I will not abuse your trust) but this one is short and geared towards one thing alone. I would like to use my first post from England to wish my good friend Zhubin a very happy and wonderful (albeit belated)....


I'll drink a pint to you...cause that's what you mean to me...a pint of beer...

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