Monday, July 18, 2005
Here's a First
Well, ladies and gentlemen, I have now started a new system that will record the events of my life. Let's begin!
1: Number of jobs I got fired from today before being interviewed.
Oh yes, it's true, I got effectively fired from SPRAYING PERFUME at Harrod's. Apparently I wasn't spraying material. The story goes like this.
I went to human resources to begin a new survival job working at HArrod's through a temp agency. For those who don't know, Harrod's is a department store in London that is extremely overpriced and way up it's own butt. So, HR sends me to the floor and the counter of the fragrance I will be working at that day to get my starting papers signed by a manager. (Quick note: At Harrod's you have to be what's called "store approved" which basically means are you pretty enough to work at Harrod's in their beauty department and people are hired and fired based solely on this in most cases) Well after being sent here there and everywhere I am told to wait at the counter I will be working at and wait for the manager. So while I wait, I chat a little to one of the girls working there to find out how it works and I lean against the counter.
BIG MISTAKE!!!!!
A guy comes up to me and, in one of the most condescending tones I have ever heard, asks if he can help. I reply and say, "Oh no thank you. I was told to wait here for a manager's signature." To which he snaps, Well please stop leaning on my counter!! Well, I promptly do that and right at this point the floor manager comes up to find out what has happened because the guy who bollocked me is the HEAD OF FRAGRANCE AND BEAUTY!! Oh yes, I offended and was chastised by my boss before I ever got to work. To make matters worse it was him that I was supposed to have sign my paper.
SO...I go up to him and tell him that he is supposed to sign the paper and he very laconically tells me I need to go back to HR. Now here's the funny bit. By the time I had walked across the store to the staff entrance and up an escalator, he had already beaten me there and was in the room getting me fired from Harrod's. I watched him walk out of the office and then one of the HR people came out and told me they had all my documents and to call my agency. Now, mind you I still haven't had an interview!!!!
I call my agency and they tell me that I was not store approved and that I can't work at Harrod's. I have two bachelor's degrees in performing and communicating and a Master's degree and I am not qualified to say, "Bijon for men?" So, that was my day. I died a little more inside...every day just a little more...please hold me...by the way, what is that divine frangrance you're wearing?
1: Number of jobs I got fired from today before being interviewed.
Oh yes, it's true, I got effectively fired from SPRAYING PERFUME at Harrod's. Apparently I wasn't spraying material. The story goes like this.
I went to human resources to begin a new survival job working at HArrod's through a temp agency. For those who don't know, Harrod's is a department store in London that is extremely overpriced and way up it's own butt. So, HR sends me to the floor and the counter of the fragrance I will be working at that day to get my starting papers signed by a manager. (Quick note: At Harrod's you have to be what's called "store approved" which basically means are you pretty enough to work at Harrod's in their beauty department and people are hired and fired based solely on this in most cases) Well after being sent here there and everywhere I am told to wait at the counter I will be working at and wait for the manager. So while I wait, I chat a little to one of the girls working there to find out how it works and I lean against the counter.
BIG MISTAKE!!!!!
A guy comes up to me and, in one of the most condescending tones I have ever heard, asks if he can help. I reply and say, "Oh no thank you. I was told to wait here for a manager's signature." To which he snaps, Well please stop leaning on my counter!! Well, I promptly do that and right at this point the floor manager comes up to find out what has happened because the guy who bollocked me is the HEAD OF FRAGRANCE AND BEAUTY!! Oh yes, I offended and was chastised by my boss before I ever got to work. To make matters worse it was him that I was supposed to have sign my paper.
SO...I go up to him and tell him that he is supposed to sign the paper and he very laconically tells me I need to go back to HR. Now here's the funny bit. By the time I had walked across the store to the staff entrance and up an escalator, he had already beaten me there and was in the room getting me fired from Harrod's. I watched him walk out of the office and then one of the HR people came out and told me they had all my documents and to call my agency. Now, mind you I still haven't had an interview!!!!
I call my agency and they tell me that I was not store approved and that I can't work at Harrod's. I have two bachelor's degrees in performing and communicating and a Master's degree and I am not qualified to say, "Bijon for men?" So, that was my day. I died a little more inside...every day just a little more...please hold me...by the way, what is that divine frangrance you're wearing?
Friday, July 15, 2005
Life...
First of all, as she mentioned that she occasionally checks this site, I would like to wish a VERY happy wedding day to my two friends Liz and Bryan. Have a wonderful day and know that I will be drinking a pint (or seven) to you on the day!
Secondly, can I just say how pissed off with the bombings I am! Not just for the loss of life, which is obviously horrible, but for making my days SO MUCH LONGER!!! I really think the ultimate goal of terrorist organizations is just to make everyone's day that much longer, the tube ride that much slower, and then...well atomic warfare comes to mind. I spent at least 4 hours...4 HOURS...on trains, buses, and tubes today going to interviews, my job, and then getting home. Sucked!
I am currently doing massage things in clubs, pubs, and, tonight, at the jazz festival in Kew Gardens. Had an interview with a promotions company today and have an appt with an agency that will send me to work at Harrod's spraying cologne, perfume, ground up cat feces, etc. So, I am truly living the actor's life...it's great Zhubin...so much more fun than doing a job that means something and doesn't destroy your soul. Wait, you're a lawyer...you know just how I feel!
So please, everyone come and visit Rachael and I in London and I massage you, promote you, and, if there is time, spray you with Eau d'Poopie...you know you want it!
Secondly, can I just say how pissed off with the bombings I am! Not just for the loss of life, which is obviously horrible, but for making my days SO MUCH LONGER!!! I really think the ultimate goal of terrorist organizations is just to make everyone's day that much longer, the tube ride that much slower, and then...well atomic warfare comes to mind. I spent at least 4 hours...4 HOURS...on trains, buses, and tubes today going to interviews, my job, and then getting home. Sucked!
I am currently doing massage things in clubs, pubs, and, tonight, at the jazz festival in Kew Gardens. Had an interview with a promotions company today and have an appt with an agency that will send me to work at Harrod's spraying cologne, perfume, ground up cat feces, etc. So, I am truly living the actor's life...it's great Zhubin...so much more fun than doing a job that means something and doesn't destroy your soul. Wait, you're a lawyer...you know just how I feel!
So please, everyone come and visit Rachael and I in London and I massage you, promote you, and, if there is time, spray you with Eau d'Poopie...you know you want it!
Thursday, July 07, 2005
Not Blown Up
I do want to continue our discussion on the intricacies of human religion thought, but just wanted to let all of you know that Rachael and I were not in Central London when it got attacked. So we're ok...in case anyone cared...which you probably don't...
Friday, July 01, 2005
Hey you Hoser!
Well, sorry (JOE) that I haven't (JOE) posted in a while (JOE) it's just that some of us (JOE) are trying to find income (JOE) and going to interviews (JOE) and auditions (JOE) so we don't have the time (JOE) to write between our classes (JOE) or when we are doing our homework (JOE!!!!). But here I am back so that a friend, who will remain nameless, will not whine anymore.
AS to the title of my blog, I get called yesterday from my voice-over agent and he said he had a possible casting for me and I needed to call a lady and do a phone interview. So I call the lady and she needs me to do a Canadian accent as a 17 year old boy, a rugged mountie, and a waiter and then immediately shift back into American. Well I do it and get the job and now I will be recording General American accents, switching into Canadian, and then back into American for an afternoon...WATCH OUT TOM CRUISE, CAUSE HERE I COME!!!!!
I also had an audition last week for My Fair Lady, which is the quintessential English show so I had to go in there and sing one song in a very posh English accent and then one in a cockney accent...very funny!
Finally, I have just started a new job where I go into pubs at night and give five minute head and shoulder massages which we were taught last night. So now I can give you all professional massages...as long as you come to England...tell you what, if you fly to England the massages will be free...how's that?!
So that is what is going on in my world. However, I wanted to ask a question to all who read this, especially Joe (and Zhubin you will probably want to get in on this too). I picked up a book from the bookstore yesterday called the Jesus Mysteries because the book claimed that almost everything we know of about Jesus' life was simply a comilation of myths handed down throughout other civilizations and that the literal story of Jesus being unique is one of the greatest cover ups in history. Now obviously, I don't believe this, but I am not afraid to hear what anyone has to say so I picked it up and it is quite interesting and a little disturbing. So I challenge all of you (but especially Joe and Zhubin) to get this book and read it so we can discuss it. Ok, that's it for me. You are boring me now.
AS to the title of my blog, I get called yesterday from my voice-over agent and he said he had a possible casting for me and I needed to call a lady and do a phone interview. So I call the lady and she needs me to do a Canadian accent as a 17 year old boy, a rugged mountie, and a waiter and then immediately shift back into American. Well I do it and get the job and now I will be recording General American accents, switching into Canadian, and then back into American for an afternoon...WATCH OUT TOM CRUISE, CAUSE HERE I COME!!!!!
I also had an audition last week for My Fair Lady, which is the quintessential English show so I had to go in there and sing one song in a very posh English accent and then one in a cockney accent...very funny!
Finally, I have just started a new job where I go into pubs at night and give five minute head and shoulder massages which we were taught last night. So now I can give you all professional massages...as long as you come to England...tell you what, if you fly to England the massages will be free...how's that?!
So that is what is going on in my world. However, I wanted to ask a question to all who read this, especially Joe (and Zhubin you will probably want to get in on this too). I picked up a book from the bookstore yesterday called the Jesus Mysteries because the book claimed that almost everything we know of about Jesus' life was simply a comilation of myths handed down throughout other civilizations and that the literal story of Jesus being unique is one of the greatest cover ups in history. Now obviously, I don't believe this, but I am not afraid to hear what anyone has to say so I picked it up and it is quite interesting and a little disturbing. So I challenge all of you (but especially Joe and Zhubin) to get this book and read it so we can discuss it. Ok, that's it for me. You are boring me now.
